A thing is not attractive by itself. It is so because of the incapacity of the attracted person to find something in its nearby able to keep her around herself. The things able to do this are those over which someone can prove his power: an ideal, a profession, an ambition and so on.
It is hard to predict how long we will have power over such kind of things. The life experience often proves our inability. Therefore, even the persons who have those things at their disposal prefer to abandon themselves to the attractive things and in fact to make them to seem more attractive than they really are.
When the attractive things are other persons, we observe how the deliberate abandon of the power over the personal things drives to an absurd claim to overcome the attractive person. It is absurd because the acceptance of an attractive person is primarily made in the name of a self belittlement.
[For instance, the desire of overcoming or even enslaving the attractive women often arises among the men who undertake high and hard personal goals and seldom among the simple-minded men.]