joi, 29 august 2013

Disintegration

When the future opens to us, it is not always received as a possible extension of our person.

The experience of extensions makes us cautious or even scared before another challenge.

The most common experience of being more than we actually are happens in the sexual life. It offers the possibility of extending ourselves over other persons and the increase of sexual organs gives us a conspicuous sign of our growing. Nonetheless, the sexual contact narrows the person to the limited area of the body of her partner and also to her own body through the loneliness involved into the feeling of pleasure.

We do not feel the sexuality as a delusion of our ambitions only because the physical satisfaction makes us to forget the more spiritual expectation of extending our person. It is felt as a delusion only when the age drags us out of the sexual preoccupations. And it may become a strong reason for disbelieving the possibility of any serious extension of our person.

If the future is not perceived as a really achievable extension, it presents to us primarily as a turbulent process of a futile and illusory extension. As any other process, it implies the disorder of the thing that has to undergone the change and thus instills the fear of the possible disintegration of our person.